He found himself at sea; alone, misfiled, misplaced: a spoon among the forks trying To understand where he fit. What did he know about menopause? About what years did down there Turning wetlands into deserts; Lush marshes into Craggy rocky places. One adapts, he was told. She had a plan. Will you take off your pants At least? he asked. She played tennis and knew her legs drove him wild. Of course, she said. But strip now. He did as he was told and she, Like a mom with a recalcitrant toddler, Took him by the ear and patted his bum Toward the bedroom. Am I going to regret this In the morning? he asked. Of course darling, she purred. That’s what mornings are for.
From downstream-coming up on it- It does look like an elephant. Massive head and shoulders, reclining Leisurely almost, facing the current, Watching for what might be floating around The upper bend and into its patch of river. It’s watched as my old man taught us how to Catch bait in it’s shallows and bass in It’s channels or off it’s weed bed. It has sat unperturbed as generations Jumped from it’s head, climbed up It’s back and swam around it’s bulk. My old man tried to capture it in Water colors, oils, pencil and chalk. It’s been photographed from the water in Summer and from the shore when it Sat alone, icebound and snow swept. It looks no different today than it did In the fifties when my old man sat me Up on its head and snapped away with His Argus. On videos, forty years later, my daughters Hop and wave from its back. Today, as the canoe bounces gently against it, I reach up and rub the warm, gray shoulder. “Hey, old man”, I say-not knowing if I’m Talking to the rock or the man who had First sat me upon it. I pushed off, passed through its shadow And continued on- Making one last cast into its eddy.
September Sun never quite rises,
Choosing to slink along the ridgeline,
Collar turned up against the coming darkness,
Bound for the back door and it’s own
Glancing sideways at the forest on the way out
It cuts sharp shadows never seen in summer
That split the stream and
Frighten the trout.
Let's sleep in the same tent for awhile. Hold up beside a river, in a place nobody knows. Up off the gravel in the high grass We’ll tend the fire and gather strength. We’ll spend the night dancing in the starlight Making love to the light of the moon. We’ll invent a language- Secret looks, words and winks That only we understand. Then we’ll sleep and dream the same dream. We’ll share the sunrise, Pack and go on; Knowing the world will never look The same again.
Written for my brother’s wedding which took place on a dock on a glassy lake tucked between rolling green mountains and high blue skies. We were surrounded by friends, families, feasted on chicken and good wine and danced under swinging lanterns to mountain fiddlers. The marriage lasted years, through two farms, six dogs, a couple of herds of delicious small goats, countless chickens, ducks and many good dinners. But I knew from that day on the dock that she was crazier ‘n a shithouse rat and it was only a matter of time. Of course, I’m sure she would have a different perspective but this isn’t journalism. I couldn’t give two shits about her perspective.
The stars are reflected in the grass tonight, as fireflies refuse to fly anymore. They lay about in the thick brush, a flickering blanket answering the twinkle from on high. Do they act like this on long summer evenings? How could they? Kids would scoop them up by the million! Jar them, squish them, write their initials with glowing firefly goop on their arms. Boy kids chasing girl kids squealing with glossy boogers of firefly goop. No, they wouldn't lay about like this in the summer. But now they seem tired, these flies. These non-flies. These fire layabouts. It's September after all. Dark at eight thirty, kids busy with their homework, staring at their screens. It's safe to lay in the weeds, done with the darting and flying exerting minimum effort. If a firefly's flicker is meant To draw a mate, these lazy bums should go home alone. © TDR - 2020
The heat even stifles the birds-
In no hurry to begin their morning chatter.
There are more nests than usual this year
But fewer eggs.
Fewer hopping fledglings.
Maybe it’s the full moon gliding across the sky
Wearing Jupiter like a hat and filling the valley with
A gauzy glow.
I’ll have no problem seeing the deer if she trespasses
Into the garden again.
The rocks-chosen carefully for size and weight
Line the table beside the steaming coffee cup.
Best to drink it now, it will be too hot once the sun rises.
There was a time when a plundering doe would have left
Here on her last gallop spurting crimson where the arrow had pierced her.
Hard to remember such things with St. Francis smiling
Benignly in the moonshine under the grapes.
But still, a solid rock to the ribs will serve as notice to
Go and eat someone else’s tomatoes.
They are tireless, though in their labors,
Building frantically as if a new nest, near the old one,
Will make their eggs viable.
They couple and squawk and dive and scree, not understanding
Why none of it works anymore.
Up on the back street Rudy’s truck slips quietly into
It’s spot under the mulberry.
He must be back at work.
There was the time that cousin Jeffy came back from a morning in the fields and breakwoods out back carrying an old cigar box full of songbird eggs that he had pilfered from nests. There were different shades of blue ones, white ones, brown speckled, black speckled…a kaleidoscope of small, some round, some oval, unborn birds. His father, a birder with a long life list positively raged at the carnage. “You must take them back immediately”, he roared. “Put them back where you found them!” Jeffy, the ever obstinate, said no. Then, to perhaps appear less confrontational said he couldn’t remember where he got them all. Uncle, not a big man, sputtered, balled his fist and punched him square in the nose. Jeffy was ten or eleven at the time and took the punch well though he sat down hard on the floor as blood flowed apace. With a stunned grin, Jeffy opened the box on his lap and picked out a sky blue egg that even I knew was a robin’s. He popped it into his mouth and swallowed it whole while Uncle, roaring, reached for the belt he wasn’t wearing because it was the weekend. Then, with both of us frozen, he picked out another-a small speckled one-and held it up between pointer and thumb. “It’s a chickadee Jeffery. Put it back!” Jeffy’s low giggle was more of a growl, coming from deep within his chest. This time, when he popped the egg into his mouth he bit down with a sickening crunch then opened his lips in a ghastly smile pushing yolk and bits of shell through his gapped teeth. His father, apoplectic, screamed and pulled the china cabinet over trying to brain the boy. He missed as dishes crashed into shards across the linoleum. His voice choked with fury, he ran into the next room looking for something to beat the boy with. Jeffy looked at me with wide, wild eyes and picked another egg, this one larger than the others. With another growl he smashed it into his forehead and laughed as the yolk and slime rolled down his face to mix with the blood. Fearing finally that whatever brand of crazy was going on might have been catching, I bolted through the backdoor, knocking it off its hinges and stumbled over the garbage can. “Not the Lark!!” I heard Uncle cry as the tea kettle came crashing through the kitchen window behind me.
The figs were trimmed like hedgerows under the back terrace.
We took our coffee there overlooking the river.
The fruit, thick and heavy, awaited her soft hands to get there before the wasps.
Her tarts-light, sweet and savory, garnished with purple chive flowers-were a seasonal attraction that almost rivaled the fishing.
She was Irish, who kept the place.
Ruddy and cheerful. Efficient.
No hint in her green eyes that she’d lost two boys.
One in the war.
One soon after, of grief.
Sorrow did not hang on her.
Did not shroud her as it rightfully might have.
As it could have with a lesser spirit.
Of course, no one sees her in the kitchen,
Where a chance tear might drip into the diced potatoes,
Salting the morning’s hash browns.
In this one, Bud tells how he became a boob man. He wasn’t telling it to me; I’d heard the story countless times already, usually like now, a couple of drinks in. I was watching the Three Stooges with the sound down at the end of the bar. The boys were plumbers and I was waiting for the part when Larry, digging under the yard sticks his head up through the sod, looks around in that haggard Larry way, and seeing where he is, pulls it back down like a startled turtle. The way his hat got stuck above ground and he reaches up and pulls it down always cracks me up. So I was waiting for it when Bud says something to Dot on the other side of him that I missed but then he goes, “…like the time I got hit in the head by that mannequin tit.” Shit, I hadn’t heard it coming. Had to turn away from the set. “Tell the story”, Dot says leaning back to open the story way to the woman on her right. “Tell, it. You and Prichard…” She’d heard this story a few times too. “Jim Prichard and I were shoppin’…” he starts right in. “I was what? Twelve? Waiting for Sheryll to get her picture taken at Murphy’s…with Santa Claus. And Prichard, you remember Prichard?” It was a nice touch, but nobody ever did. I mean ever. Poor Prichard had to be the most forgettable fucker you’d ever not meet. “Anyway, Prichard and I, we were over around the counter and Prichard says, “Hey, think we can lift this up? It was a mannequin. Not the whole body thing…just from here” puts his hand to the top of Dot’s thigh like a freeze-frame karate chop, “to the top of the head. A pretty redhead, as I recall. So me and Prichard we went over and lift it-it wasn’t that heavy-but when we set it back down…the damn mannequin was sittin’ on one of these pedestals-not too stable- and the damn thing went….Whoooop! It falls over and the tit hit me right on top of the head.” “DOINK!” Dot laughed. “Doink, my ass”, says Bud. “It knocked me flat, until I saw that floor manager runnin’ my way and I got up and took off. Dizzier n’ hell with a goozle on top of my head for days.” “He goes crazy over boobs now”, Dot says to the woman to her right. I honestly doubted the cause and effect of the whole deal, but it wasn’t my story.
The lover’s song hoped to chronical the sad, continuing struggle to find someone who could make it all seem right. In the pictures all the men looked like thumbs, big and vacant, hats at a jaunty tilt. Rich girls with backyard fences, angels coupled with sailors and airmen. Dreams watch each other warily, not wanting to draw first. Soft luxuriant curs loll in the faded light. Girls and drivers tricked out to get liquor and better clothes. Half gallons of sweet wine, six packs of beer and jeans that rode low. Jump humped, born to suffer, made to undress in the wilderness.
He threw on the businessman’s Stetson that belonged to his grandfather, a renown liar, and sang:
“I will never treat you mean,
Never start no kind of scene
I will tell you every place and every person I’ve been
I will always be true,
Never go sneaking out on you…”
It was easier to lie when he sang. But he wouldn’t let it bother him because he knew beyond doubt that she would kill him.