(Continued from “Come on Mom…” Part 1)
“You’ll know soon enough. I’m getting my hairbrush.”
Wait. What? Cassie was stunned into silence for a moment. “Your…your…Mom. There is no way I’m going to let you…I don’t want…Just no way.” She paused, sputtering. “I’m twenty-three years old for Christ’s sake!”
Her daughter’s words resounded. ‘There is no way I’m going to let you…’ she’d said. Truth be told, she was a grown woman, a bit taller than she and probably stronger. Setting aside the ‘my house, my rules’ bullshit which neither of them ascribed to, Eileen didn’t kid herself that she’d be able to wrestle Cassie over her lap. So she stayed calm and spoke as clearly and logically as she could manage.
“I don’t know what age has to do with anything. This is about behavior, right? About you continually doing things that you know-that we both especially know”, she paused for effect, “can have ruinous consequences.” Cassie dropped her head, her eyes smarting a bit. Not that lecture, please, she thought. “Do you remember the last time I had to spank you?” Cassie’s heart fluttered; not at the memory so much though that was bad, but at the way her mother just said ‘The last time I HAD TO spank you’. Jesus! Was this really going to happen?
“Do you remember?” Eileen prodded wanting an answer.
“Yes”, she said softly, not looking up.
From the time she entered middle school, Cassie always looked older than she was. And that night, a decade before, back by the pavilion at the catfish pond, she was passing for sixteen with a motley collection of high-school ne’er do wells and footballers. Definitely forbidden territory. Eileen was only seventeen when she’d had Cassie and was not too far removed from the revolving gangs at catfish pond and what went on there. A half mile trail from any paved road, skirting fields and the golf course, it was a supposed safe haven from prying parents and bored cops.
So the dozen or so kids froze when Eileen had stalked off the path into the glow of the barrel fire that night. Everyone had backed away, out of the range of a mother’s hot rage. Poor Cassie had nowhere to back away to and was too late in dropping the beer can beside her feet. She opted to stand quietly mortified as her mother seethed, “Get your butt home NOW!” They walked the trail home in the moonlight quickly, not because Cassie was in a hurry-far from it- but her mother six paces behind her matching her stride for stride prevented her from slowing. She had tried a quick “I’m sorry” over her shoulder but her mother’s “You’ll be plenty sorry when you get home”, shut her up.
DAMMIT! Eileen thought as she stormed at Cassie’s heels-pissed at the long white legs and the too short shorts she was wearing. Why couldn’t the girl just do as she was told? Eileen had lived through exactly what Cassie was going through. Hell, she knew what Cassie was going to do before she did it. She had good advice to pass on. Why didn’t the girl just follow it? Why did she have to push all the time like it was a contest?
Eileen was not a disciplinarian. Wasn’t interested in it. She’d rather sit around and chat-tell stories with points and morals-that Cassie listened to well enough when she was little, but not anymore. She knew she let Cassie get away with a little too much. Then she had to reign her in. With Cassie’s father out of the picture, out of the house, and out of their lives, all of Cassie, good and bad, was solely on her desk. Dammit girl!
Cassie took the porch stairs two at a time and slowed when she pushed the door open. “To your room”, he mother ordered shoving her firmly between the shoulder blades. “I’m getting my hairbrush!”
“No, Mom!” Cassie had cried.
When her mother had stormed into her room, Cassie was backed into a corner hoping to protect herself, but Eileen never slowed, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her toward the bed.
“Lay on the bed!” she ordered.
“No Mom, please!”
Her mother leaned in close to her face and, squeezing her arm, whispered hoarsely. “You lay down on that bed or I promise, I will lay you down.”
Acquiescing to her mother’s rage Cassie crawled reluctantly onto the bed and flattened out bottom up. She was almost ready for whatever was coming until her mother’s fingers snatched at the waistband of her shorts.
“NO!” she yelled and reached, but by the time she got her hands back her shorts, along with her panties, had already been yanked off her butt. She tried to roll onto her side and pull her legs up, but Eileen’s heavy hand in the small of her back foiled her. Plus any struggling and rolling would reveal more of herself to her mother’s eyes than she cared to reveal. She submitted and lay still, not struggling as Eileen pulled everything down to her knees and pushed her shirt up her back.
The spanking itself only lasted minutes, but left Cassie wailing on her bed in equal parts anger, frustration, humiliation and not a little pain. When Eileen finally stayed her hand and looked at her daughter’s well-colored bottom (Cassie would watch the bruises bloom and fade in her mirror for a week) she would admit to a little satisfaction at delivering a strong message, but it was colored with fear of what she’d been capable of. And overlaid with the fear of what would come next: tomorrow, then the next day then next week. Did she really have to do this?
Watching her daughter’s shoulders quiver as she sobbed, Eileen softened and patted her back then straightened her shirt. “You stay in here till I tell you to come out”, she said softly. Cassie nodded through her sniffles. Eileen didn’t exactly regret what she’d done but didn’t feel good about it. She thought that she might not want to do it again. And she hadn’t.
“Mom…I don’t want…” Cassie coughed and trailed off. Eileen stopped and turned-not content to leave anything unsaid.
“Don’t want what, dear?” she asked making her say the word.
“I don’t want a…spanking,” she said embarrassed just being made to say it. “I don’t.” She looked up then and their eyes met-Eileen saw fear and pleading there that she wanted to give in to. The kind of pleading and apologies that she’d accepted for years which had brought them to where they were.
“You don’t want one? Or you wish you hadn’t done anything to deserve one?”
Cassie had no answer to that. There was no answer to that question.
“Take your jeans off Cassie. I’m going to get my hairbrush.”
“Off? Why do I have to take them…”
“Because you’re not a kid and I’m not going to wrestle with you to take your pants down. Take them off.”
“Mom. Wait…you don’t have to do this. We don’t have to do this.”
“I think we do.