“It was probably the wave…”

Found on Tumblr…

Continued from “Ten it is then…”

Gwen Smythe stepped to the left and, measuring, placed the stick gently across the middle of Bethany’s rounded bum. The girl twitched at the touch. “Shhh…settle…” Ms. Smythe cooed as she might to a skittish pony. “And don’t clench-that’s actually worse.” Bethany felt the smooth cool of the wood touch the middle of her bottom and linger. She felt is slide back and forth lightly as if marking a spot-then it was gone. She gritted her teeth and didn’t have to wait long. She heard it whipping through the air before it struck with a loud CRACK.

Bethany let a sibilant hiss escape her tight lips when what she really wanted to do was yell: “OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW” and dance across the room because the first blow bloomed into a burn like a wasp’s sting. Two wasps! One on each cheek. She gasped as another followed quickly and tried to move without moving-bringing her knees together then apart-lifting on one toe, then the next.

Another burned into her bottom up high and she wriggled side-to-side; anything to help dissipate the burn. She pushed backwards and met the stick half-way then leaned further over her hands. Nothing was really helping-the target was too clearly in range and Assistant Dean Smythe was apparently expert in the task.

Halfway through her sentence a swat bounced hard off of her sit spot and she bolted upright-or as upright as she could while still keeping her hands-even if only the fingertips-on the desk as instructed. When she stood her butt cheeks tensed like two hard dimpled apples. Ms. Smythe stepped back to allow space between her and her bucking charge and let fly with two cuts across the bum, one dipping to the top of her leg to a loud “ooooo!” that Bethany couldn’t hold in. A hop, then another, higher hop.

“Ok, Ok…” Ms. Smythe said gently placing her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Settle down, settle down…lean back over…” Bethany choked on a sob that she wouldn’t give full voice to and bent back over the desk. Two tears splashed onto the polished wood surface.

She froze when she felt the other woman’s hand on her backside gently outlining the marks where the last two swats had landed. Gwen Smythe’s fingers felt ice cold against the burn, lifting her right cheek, surveying the damage on her sit spot.  Bethany held her breath trying to come to a reconciliation between the burning sting of the paddle and Ms. Smythe’s cooling touch. “This isn’t too bad…” she said. Then touching another spot allowed that, “This will leave a bit of a mark, I’m afraid. That’s your fault, all that jumping around.”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. I didn’t…”

“Shhh…quite alright. Those were hard.” Then after a pause as Bethany steeled for another swat, she heard, “You play sports, don’t you?”

What?  Was she actually asking that? Was it small talk now?

“Yes, Ma’am” she said slowly, holding her voice as steady as she could. “Lacrosse.”

“Great game! All that running-you’re in shape.” She felt a light pat on the left cheek. “Firm bottom.”

“?!”

“Well, back to it. You have three more and I expect you to stay in position. Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

She dug her fingers into the desktop and gritted her teeth. The next stroke landed softly-not even a sting. She had to be measuring-setting her up for the big finish. “Soften your cheeks,” she ordered. “You’re tensing.” Bethany did as she was told and held her breath. The two more that followed were the same patty-cake. Pat-Pat.

“That’s it”, Ms. Smythe announced and backed away. “You’re done. Feel free to pull your pants up.”

Bethany bent awkwardly and slipped her heart undies then her trousers up. With a quick snap and buckle she was done. The Assistant Dean was holding a tissue when she turned to face her. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asked as she dabbed at Bethany’s damp cheeks and eyes.

Bethany almost grinned sheepishly. “It was sorta bad. First time, I guess. Last time, I hope.”

“Well maybe, after this afternoon.”

“This afternoon?”

“I’ll see you back here at three.”

“At three?”

“Really, you know nothing do you? It’s the last day of the month-everybody who’s earned themselves a paddling that month comes back at three on the last day-for a reminder.” She was still holding the paddle and gripped it in a way that left no doubt about her meaning.

“But, that’s not fair”, Bethany gasped, feeling she might cry again.

“Maybe, maybe not. But effective. We have very few repeat offenses here since I took this desk. You might want to find time to change panties though…before coming back. There will, of course, be others here.”

“How many?” Bethany whispered between gasps.

“Eleven or so, I think. Amy knows for sure….six boys, five girls….Maybe the reverse…”

“Boys!?”

“Not to worry, silly. We split into two groups. No one sees anything that they wouldn’t see in a locker room, right? Better hurry off now-get to class. I’ll see you later.”

Bethany hurried out the door and was halfway across the outer office when Amy spoke up. “See you back here at three then? Wouldn’t serve to be late.” There was a tone to the voice that Bethany didn’t like. She turned to say something and the girl gave a foppish, four finger “Toodle-Loo” wave and smirked a smile. “See you later…” she sing-songed.

Stepping into the morning sun, the heat rising in Bethany’s cheeks had nothing to do with pain, embarrassment or helplessness. It was, she felt, a righteous anger that pushed those bothersome concerns to the back of the room. That little bitch! Later she would think it funny that she had no real ill feelings for AD Smythe at that moment but that all of her ire settled on the smarmy little secretary. She stopped her furious striding at a bench near the top of the quad. She flopped down and immediately lifted, reminded sharply by the sting in her sit spot to go gently.

She sat mostly on her left cheek and scrolled through her text messages. There it was. The last text Dean Jackson had sent her when he left. She hadn’t been in contact with him-figured she would let him enjoy his sabbatical knowing he had to be back for commencement. But this…this was special circumstances. And he had, after all, invited her to reach out if she ever needed anything.

She began furiously thumb typing.

To be continued….

Firing for Effect

 

 

It was a bruise. That wasn’t up for debate. The question was how she got it. It was a small one-no bigger than a thumbnail-but high enough on the inside of her thigh to make a man wonder. No matter. She had a matching one on the outside of the other thigh that was a little larger. She had always been a klutz-even when she was light on her feet, she wasn’t really. Great dancer but liable to trip coming off the floor. But still. It could have been a love bite, a hickey, a sucker-bite like they called them in high school. No telling. Unless he flat out asked and he wasn’t drunk enough to do that. Wasn’t really drunk at all.

She wore the same high tight shorts and tank top that she rocked thirty pounds and twenty years ago. Still drove him mad. Maybe because he rarely saw her in them these days. He would see her in the warehouse and mostly imagine. If you could call remembering, imagining. But the ache he was starting to feel was not an ancient memory. It was here and now.

She was larger than she had been but who wasn’t? It was well-earned size. One kid, living over in Ohio with his dad coupled with over a decade of physical work-lifting and stacking and running a forklift-left her scant time or energy to run on a treadmill for hours like the women in the office. Nah, this one was built by life for life.

She shifted to her left and pulled her right foot up onto the chair further stripping her right thigh. Her shorts climbed high enough that their next move would be inside of her. Jesus, she didn’t even know what she was doing. At least he hoped she didn’t. That would have just been cruel. He stopped caring about the scant camouflage his sunglasses provided and stared.

He almost jumped-startled out of his leggy reverie-when Teddy slipped a cold 16 over his left shoulder. No idea that the guy was behind him. So not good. “Thanks, Bra”, he covered and popped the snap top. “No worries”, he said loping past them on his way to the shed no doubt engrossed in one of dozens of projects that he starts but never seems to finish. Their acre back here always looks like a shop class after the lunch bell rings.

“How is it with him?” he asked her crotch.

She watched him disappear into the shed. “Its fine, you know? He’s Teddy”, she shrugged and dropped her foot creating a large expanse of smooth, bare lap. “He’s okay-I mean he wouldn’t have been my first choice, you know? But he was there.” She shrugged. “Sometimes it’s good to come home to somebody. Even somebody goofy.”

“I might have something open up in the early shift for him-not a full 40-just part time.”

“Anything you can do, sweetheart”, she said.

His mind went to a place where he could feel that bare lap under his. He felt himself riding them-flying like Superman in the comics-arms straight out and his legs kicked back and himself grinding between her thighs.  The back of his throat went dry. He sucked at the beer warming in his hand and shifted uncomfortably.

“You flat out stopped texting me. It’s like a have to hunt you down during the day to just see you.”

She looked over her sunglasses at him. “I know how it is with you. But you’re married to my best friend. If we did it and it went sour-and face it, with me it usually does-I’d lose you and that would hurt. But I’d lose her and that would be tragic.”

He knew the words from his wife’s romance novels that were scattered about the house. “Yearning” was one, “aching” was another. He always thought the aching wasn’t real-just a feeling. Not like a bad shoulder or twisted knee. But this was worse. Though sunken deep in the old chaise, playing the cool cat behind his shades, he felt like he was leaning forward directing the pain in his heart-and lower-at her. Firing for effect.

Yearbook Candids

Found on Tumblr-origin unknown

 

Clearing files of old “candid photos” from when I was yearbook editor back in the day. This one didn’t make the cut, but I suppose we could have done with one less marching band photo. Wonder whatever became of Ms. Johnson, the guidance counselor? Hmmm….

“Ten it is then…”

 

Lifted from “Across My Lap” on Tumblr

Continued from “Ms. Smythe will see you now“…

The AD was standing at the window behind her desk reading from a folder, her back to the room. “Sit”, she said without turning around. Bethany did as she was told, slowly lowering herself into the soft leather chair in front of the desk still limply holding the two almost forgotten envelopes in her hand. Her stomach churned when she saw the paddle lying on the side table. She turned her head quickly away as if-like a bad thought-ignoring it would make it disappear. That seldom worked.

Ms. Smythe turned with a small smile and, closing the folder, plopped it onto the desk. “Impressive Miss Flowers”, she said. “Your work here has been exemplary. You will leave here with the highest honors and recommendations.”

“Yes…” Bethany said nervously. “Thank you…”

“But”, she continued walking around the desk to lean her slim backside against the table, “I have to say, you have a surprising number of write-ups and comments about your particular lack of….attention to detail, shall we say? Particularly as it applies to schedules and work being done on time.”

“Yes Ma’am. I know….I…”

“Almost as if you are willfully disregarding the most basic rules we put in place here.”

“Oh, no Ma’am…”

“Are you staging your own little protest against what you feel might be…arbitrary guideline?”

“Oh, no, Ms. Smythe…it’s not that. It’s just that…”

The AD cocked her head slightly to one side in anticipation of an explanation she was pretty sure wasn’t coming.  After a moment of uncomfortable silence she went on. “I do see that AD Jackson never punished you at all for any of your infractions.”

“No Ma’am”, Bethany said meekly. “He said he would…”

“He did threaten you with a spanking?”

At the very word an icy chill spread through Bethany’s belly.

“Yes ma’am”, she said head down.

“But he never did.”

“No ma’am”.

“Well, I must say that there is a part of your education that has been lacking.”

“I have to be honest, when I first saw your file, I took you for one of those girls. You know?” Ms. Smythe looked hard at her. She didn’t know. ”But you’re not. You’re not one of those who like it…who are looking for it. I can tell. There are enough of those let me tell you. And the boys-I swear-worse than the girls. They would plot and devise different things they could do-manufactured misbehaviors as it were-to find themselves bent over my desk. Or in some cases over my lap….They would ask for that…”

She pushed away from the table and picked up the instrument and Bethany’s heart sank. Was this really going to happen?

At first glance it looked like a yardstick but even Bethany, who knew little about wood, could tell that it was made of sturdier stuff. Oak most probably. There was a leather wrapped handle on one end and a loop where it could be hung from a hook. And there were no lines or calibrations on it. No, this tool was designed to leave marks, not measure them.

Ms. Smythe had a bit of a faraway look in her eye and a smile tickled at her lips. Holding the stick at rest at her side she went on. “And the most unlikely too. The captain of the soccer team-almost asking for a spanking when I was about to let him off…” Gwen smiled to herself at the almost slip of the tongue which would have changed the whole story. But Bethany was only half listening-trying to imagine Jim Thomas, the captain of their soccer team, with his carefully feathered blond locks lying bare-bummed across Ms. Smythe’s tight lap. It wasn’t a picture she could quite make right now. But even in her near frantic state, she filed it away to ponder later.

“You like?” she asked. “The dean at my last posting gifted me…” She brandished the stick in front of her like a swordsman hoping to catch a glow of sunshine off the blade. “It’s very effective” she mused almost to herself as she patted the wood sternly into the palm of her left hand.

Bethany’s heart raced and seemed to jump into her throat at the soft smacking sound coming from the assistant dean’s hand. How was she going to stand this? Her eyes burned and without willing it, a tear tumbled from her left eye and traced a streak down her cheek.

“A tear?” Gwen looked at her with a little concern. “Bethany, buck up. I mean my punishments often bring tears but usually after-or during-not before.”

She rubbed her eyes quickly with the back of her hands. “I’m sorry Ms. Smythe. Didn’t mean it….I’m just…”

“Shhhh…” Gwen’s cool citrusy smell, filled the space between them as she gently cupped the side of Bethany’s head…”Don’t worry about it, it’ll be okay. A trainer at the gym I used to go-who would devise the most torturous routines and workouts- said you can stand anything for three minutes. Right? This won’t take much longer than that.”

She stepped back. “Let’s get on with it then. Do you want Amy to come in?”

“Amy?” asked Bethany, confused.

Ms. Smyth nodded toward the door. The little blonde at the desk. “A witness…?”

“Oh, God no!” Bethany blurted understanding. “I mean…no. Not necessary…”

“If you were younger it would be required…but we’re both adults here.” She shrugged. “Very good, then. Stand here…”

She pointed to a spot about a foot in front of her desk. Beth pushed herself out of her chair and shuffled forward on leaden legs. Thank heavens she didn’t have to walk far-her knees were actually shaking! At this moment she actually wished she might have been paddled before so she wouldn’t look like such a piker now.

Of course, she knew of other girls who were paddled and otherwise punished in her years here. She had even seen evidence in the fading welts on Karen Britton’s backside in the locker room after lacrosse practice one day. The sight-even the quick glance that it was-had set fluttering crows lose in her chest. The vision of Dean Jackson, her mentor through the four years here, putting her over his lap or over the desk never had even struck her as a possibility. Maybe that was the problem. Had he taken a firmer hand with her would she have so easily blown off the deadlines that had brought her to this? Betcha Karen Britton never missed an assignment deadline after that one time! If that was even what had caused her to be striped like that. Her mind was racing with too many imponderables and unanswerables. She was brought back to the present by Ms. Smyth’s voice.

“Ok-and your hands will go right here”, she said tap-tap-tapping a spot on the desk with the stick.

She didn’t have a terrible voice-not a harpy-but definitely not to be trifled with. There was a firmness in her tone-and her bearing. Bethany leaned over and placed her left hand on the desk and was putting the right down when Ms. Smyth stopped her.

“Oh, I’m sorry Bethany. You’re new at this. Trousers please.”

“….What?”

“This stick is rather a licky piece but even with me swinging it, it doesn’t make as much of an impression through khakis. Trousers down please.”

Bethany looked back to find a hint on the woman’s face that she might be joking. That she really didn’t mean it. There was no such message writ there. Maybe her eyes showed a tiny glint of bemusement but her jaw was set. Bethany had to drop her pants.

She turned back to the desk and with shaking hands unsnapped and unzipped. They were tight enough that they wouldn’t fall so she slid them down slowly and carefully not to pull her panties with them. Oh GOD! Her panties!! All she had left in the drawer this morning were the…

“Cute”, said the AD with a smile, beholding the white panties splashed with bright red hearts of every size the largest emblazoned on the twin round cheeks. “And not even Valentine’s Day.”

“I’m sorry Ms. Smythe. I’m between washes and these were all that I had…”

“Not to worry. This isn’t one of those schools that you read about with “regulation knickers”. I’m happy you’re wearing them. You don’t know how many girls go without panties…not my cup of tea, I’ll tell you.”

Bethany was settling back over the desk trying to get used to the idea of standing here in her undies when the assistant dean’s voice chilled.

“Look Bethany. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here because this is your first. But really. You are going to get ten swats on your bare rear. You should know how to take it. When called to position you should lower your trousers AND your panties and bend over for chastisement. Without my having to coach you every step of the way.”

Bethany stood back up nearing a panic. “…But…” was all she could get out.

“I didn’t make the rules and you not knowing them is not my problem.” Ms. Smythe took a small step closer and Bethany, looking slightly downward, again noticed that she was taller than the assistant dean. Not really an advantage right now. “I’m going to give you ten swats across your bare bottom”, she said icily. “And if you don’t get those panties down now it will be twelve and believe me, you won’t enjoy the last two.”

“NO!…No…I’m sorry”, Bethany stumbled her eyes filling at being scolded like this. “Really Ms. Smythe”, she said turning her back again. “I meant nothing. Like you said I didn’t realize…..I’m sorry really.”

With that she hooked her thumbs in the elastic and slipped the panties down too hurriedly scraping a pink ribbon down her hip with a thumbnail. Once cleared of her fulsome bottom they fluttered to join her khakis in a pile at her ankles. Before they settled Bethany was bent over the desk-back rod straight-staring at the books on the shelves.

“Alright then…” she heard Ms. Smythe say a little gently and relaxed as much as she could hearing the change in tone. “Ten it is then.”

To be continued…

 

“Ms. Smythe will see you now…”

From “Across My Lap” on Tumblr

(Sorry, this is a re-post. There was a glitch that had to be cleaned up in the first go-round).

Bethany glided along the walk toward the administration building. That’s how she felt-glideful-if there was such a word. If not, light and breezy would suffice. “Ooops, Sorry!” she said tripping out of the way of two freshman hustling to class. Glideful-not graceful. She smiled and regarded the youngsters in their rush-heads down, books clutched to their chests. She remembered that feeling-that fear of being late-of missing the last assignment. Happily that was behind her by a few years.

It was less than a month until final commencement and most of her tough work was finished properly and behind her. Most; not all. She was holding the final two assignments now-past deadline enough that she had to turn them into the Assistant Dean as these professors had left for the semester. Her bad luck. Had they still been on campus she could have pushed the papers over the transom, as they say, and not have to meet the new AD. She had an 8:30 meeting for which she was, of course, late.

Really, why had Dean Jackson, her mentor, professor and confidant through her four years chosen this month to start his sabbatical? He’d be back for commencement surely, but she wished she was facing him this morning rather than this new AD. And a woman at that. She hadn’t seen her around campus yet but had seen her posted greeting on the campus Intraweb.

She slipped through the administration building’s open door as someone else exited and took the wide marble steps to the second floor two at a time. She was pressing for time not wanting to be too late for Professor Major’s History of Agriculture class. God! What a bore-but electives count on the transcript too. She opened the frosted glass door that still read “Assistant Dean Phillip Jackson” and stepped inside the AD’s outer office.

Amy Prynne, the new AD’s new assistant, looked up from the computer screen as she entered. Amy was an Academy Alumnus who had worked at a few postings across campus-primarily over in finance. A small woman with a silver pixie cut, she seemed pleasant enough but Bethany had never had a conversation with her. “Good Morning”, Amy said cheerily. “Bethany? Right?”

“Oh-yes”, Bethany said, taken off guard a bit that Amy knew her name. She hesitantly reached her had across the desk which Amy rose to shake once. “Flowers”, she said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Of course”, Amy agreed. “And you…I’m Amy…”

“Yes…I’ve seen you around.”

“Of course. Yes.”

Amy sat again and continued to look up at her with a wide smile that came and went then came back again. “Oh”, she said. “We had you down for 8:30…”

“Yes…I’m sorry. I was running a little behind this morning. Is that OK?” A few uncomfortable seconds passed while Amy consulted the computer in front of her. “Shouldn’t be a big problem.” She nodded toward the inner door. “Someone jumped in before you…Shouldn’t be too long.”

Bethany became conscious of voices coming from the inner office. “Oh-alright. I kind of thought I might just be able to leave these with you.” She held out the two final papers each in its properly addressed envelope. “I’m running a little late, you see. For Professor…”

“Yes, History of Agriculture. Really-I had that one. How do you stay awake?” she asked conspiratorially with an almost-wink. “Just have a seat-AD Smythe will see you in a moment.” She turned her full attention back to the screen clearly dismissing her. Bethany withdrew the proffered papers and sat-dismissed-on the worn leather sofa where she had idled so much time waiting to see AD Jackson who had served as her advisor for the first two years on campus.

With a nervous look at the clock on the wall-no way she was going to make the bell for Ag Hist-she reached for the new copy of Academy Life on the coffee table to leaf through.

Suddenly the inner door opened at there stood Assistant Dean Gwen Smythe. She looked younger than she did in the posted Intraweb picture. There she was wearing a proper blazer and a prim turtle neck. Here she had on an oxford blue shirt open at the neck and what looked to be dark slacks. The door wasn’t open wide enough for her to be sure. Her shoulder length blonde hair cupped her face in the photo but here was pulled back in a loose pony tail. “Amy?” she said to her assistant before noticing Bethany on the sofa. “Oh hello-you are…?”

“This is Bethany Flowers.”, said Amy moving past her into the office.

“Oh, of course, Bethany.” Her face froze toward a greeting smile, “You’re a little late this morning.”

“Yes Ma’am…I’m sorry. I….”

“No matter”, the AD waved at her. She appeared ready to say something else but then settled for “I’ll be with you in a moment….” As the door closed Bethany saw another girl standing in the office. She was facing away so she couldn’t tell who it was-just a flash of tartan and a white shirt. The informal, formal uniform. Had to be a freshman.

She sunk back into the leather cushions. Something was off, she thought.  She was expecting a little “run-by-drop-off” informality but she was on everyone’s schedule it appeared. Had she been? Did she really set a time when she called? And not only on everyone’s schedule but late by everyone’s schedule. A few butterflies flittered about in her belly as a cool shadow inexplicitly fell over what had been an unseasonably and perhaps unreasonably pleasant morning.

She looked at the clock nervously then back to the magazine in her hand. She began to flip the pages when she heard it-quick and distinctive-from the inner office.

“Crack!” The sound startled her so that she dropped the magazine to the floor. “Crack!” came the second lick.

Oh dear God! She thought, jumping up. The butterflies doubled in number and size-flying through her chest now. Bethany had never been spanked at school. Not once in her four years at The Academy. She didn’t think that was so unusual. She was sure many girls got through without feeling the cane, or the paddle or even the firm hand on the backside but she didn’t know many that had her fear of it. When girls spoke of it, she left the room. The first and only time AD Jackson had mentioned corporal punishment in passing she had almost cried.

On the third swat from inside she heard a little cry and she grabbed at herself. She had to pee! She ran to the washroom behind the desk and realized that it was closer to the inner office and she could hear the sounds better from there. The fourth and fifth swats landed closer together and the answering cries got a bit louder. Then the sixth with a loud report and the poor girl on the receiving end broke into sobs. These were not the muffled swats made when a paddle hits skirts. No, this was the clear, sharp crack of wood meeting bare skin. She nervously turned on the water to muffle everything and sat on the toilet even knowing she really didn’t have to go.

Quite illogically she looked about for a window where she knew there wasn’t one. Then she thought about the door-out, make a left then out, then out back into the sunshine. More swats landed answered by cries and sobs all overlain by AD Smythe’s distinctive but indecipherable voice. Sitting there on the loo Bethany put her fingers in her ears, closed her eyes and hummed. She breathed to calm herself; tried to look at her situation rationally. Whatever was happening to that unfortunate freshman had nothing to do with her. She was weeks from graduating with honors. Just settle yourself, she thought.

After a few moments she looked up and popped her fingertips out of her ears. It had gone silent. She rose and turned off the water. The inner door-then the outer-opened then closed. She looked at her face completely flushed in the mirror and splashed a little water on her cheeks. She patted with a hand towel and stepped back into the waiting area.

Amy was back behind her desk with her wide smile. “Oh, there you are…We were afraid you’d run off!”

“No….no…I had to…”

“Of course, yes”, said Amy breezily. “Ms. Smythe will see you now.”

To be continued….

Big Pete-A Barroom Epitaph

You hear about Big Pete? The old man asked.
No, what?
He’s not doing too good.

When I knew Big Pete, about ten years ago,
He was over 300 pounds. Probably closer to four.
Football was long behind him.
His ankles looked like telephone poles jammed into sneakers
That he never managed to tie.

He mostly sat-sometimes on two chairs side by side;
Getting up was a production and walking-when he finally got started-
Was a bangy herky-jerk that always seemed just shy
Of throwing all four limbs across the room in opposite directions.
This was when Big Pete was in his thirties-
Doin’ good.

It’ll go like that for a time.
Big Pete? Not doin’ too good.
That little phrase-those four words-covering whatever imaginable
Pain and suffering life finally passed his way.

After a time,
Not doin’ too good takes a decided turn.
Big Pete? He’s dyin’ I hear….

Hear about Big Pete?
Dyin?
Dead.
No more updates.
But dead isn’t where it ends for Big Pete.

It ends with-
Did you hear about Big Pete?
Who?

That’s the end.